Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Top Ten Tuesday - Top Ten Books I'll Never Read

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted at The Broke and the Bookish.

This week's topic is Top Ten Books I'll Never Read:

10.  The Second Short Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer - Seriously... Doesn't she have enough of our money yet?

9.  The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis - I read the first two books when I was younger, but I couldn't get into the rest of them.  And, quite frankly, finding out that they were Christian allegory made me feel like I'd been tricked.  I have no desire to read the rest of the books now.

8.  The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien - I tried to read the first one, but it was so boring.  Even the movie seemed too long and dull.  They may be classics, but I just can't get into them.  I did enjoy The Hobbit, though.

7.  anything self-published, even if it has a 5-star rating on Amazon - Been there, done that, wanted to gouge my eyes out and bash my head against the wall.  After my experience with Basajaun, I've developed a phobia of self-published novels.  (Okay, never say never.  I might one day read another self-published novel.  But I need to first figure out how tell what's good and what isn't.  The star ratings certainly don't help!)

6.  Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding - This was required reading in university.  Worst book ever!  Seriously.  I couldn't get past the first 20 pages.  I was, quite literally, bored to tears.  I used Coles Notes to write my essay and pass the course.  I have no desire to ever pick this up and read the whole thing.

5.  anything by Ernest Hemingway - He's overrated, in my opinion.  I had to read The Sun Also Rises in high school.  I hated it.  My mom had to read The Old Man and the Sea.  She hated it.  Maybe we have some sort of anti-Hemingway gene...

4.  anything by Shannon Hale - Her books may be good; I don't know.  But I found her attitude toward people who didn't enjoy Breaking Dawn to be condescending and rude.  It's one thing to stick up for a fellow author... but you shouldn't insult intelligent readers when you do so.

3.  Emma by Jane Austen - I've tried to read this book, but I just can't get into it.  It's probably my least favourite of the Austen stories.  I don't mind the movie versions (the newest one produced by the BBC was really good), but I don't think I'll ever actually read the book.

2.  Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë - I just don't understand the appeal.  I tried to read this book twice, and gave up both times.  I've seen the movie, so I know I'm not missing much except creepy family dynamics and dysfunctional romantic relationships.  No wonder this is Bella and Edward's favourite book.

1.  The Da Vinci Code - I've got it sitting on my bookshelf, mostly unread.  It seemed like they were never going to escape from the Louvre.  So I quit.  When you want to yell at a book, "Get on with it, already!" you know it's time to give up.


  1. I totally agree with number 10! I still can't believe I was tricked into buying the whole Twilight series -.- I won't be fooled twice! :)

  2. LOL, I don't see the point of the Bree Tanner book either... it's like, she's there for five seconds-what more do we need to know? I've never read Wuthering Heights but I am tempted from time to time to watch the movie version JUST to see why people love the story so much-I know what happens and it just sounds like two vindictive people dying over nothing. :/

  3. What a fun list! I didn't mind the Da Vinci Code, though. I am with you on the self-published books. I went and read your review on Basajaun. Hilarious. It sounded terrible. The typos and the dialogue punctuation errors would have done me in.

  4. Ooo I love Wuthering Heights. I love how it shows how people often hurt the ones they love must.

    Emma is so cute. So fun and clever. Great dialogue.

    I LOVE Narnia.

    Cool list :)

  5. Bummer, I was just thinking about starting Emma! (I still might) My list is full of political selections. I hope you aren't easily offended.

  6. BTW- I love your blog especially your banner. It wins for being the best I've seen today!

  7. Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

    I agree with a lot of these -- and the self-published one. Give me a publisher I've heard of and I'll read it!

  8. Oh... thanks for the laughs. I have to agree with you on most of them! I liked The Hobbit, but LOTR, zzzzzz. Couldn't read it. And Da Vinci Code is still sitting on my shelf. I thought by now I was the only person on the planet who hadn't read it.

  9. Interesting list. I couldn't get into the Lord of the Rings, Emma, Wuthering Heights, or the Second Short Life of Bree Tanner, either!

    The last one... well, cmon. If you're gonna write about Twilight, write about a character I'm interested in. We see Bree like, what, four pages? Not even. I'd MUCH rather have an Alice book or something.

    And I agree with Wuthering Heights. I've tried to get into it because SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE IT. I just can't though.

  10. Absolutely agree with you on Hemingway! If he hadn't been required reading in way too many of my English classes, I would never have touched him. Gag.

    Here's my list: http://myreadersblock.blogspot.com/2010/10/top-ten-tuesday-books-ill-never-read.html