A Meme for Saturday - Part Two

Too many questions for one entry, I thought. So here's the second part:

Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?
Anything that favourably compares itself to Twilight. That should not be our new benchmark for good literature. I've yet to read anything that said, "Fans of Stephenie Meyer will love this book!" and actually be impressed. It's okay to like vampires... but there are much better vampire books out there.

If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?
Hmmm... That's an interesting question. I don't know if I'd want to hang out with any characters, to be honest. Most of them seem to fit in best with their own friends and love interests. I'm so anti-social that they'd probably become bored with me.

(Borrowing shamelessly from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde): you are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realize it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?
Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding. I was supposed to read it in university. I just couldn't... though I tried really, really hard. I wrote my essays using the Coles Notes (hey, I passed the class!).

Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?
Tess of the d'Urbervilles. It was required reading in high school, but I fudged my way through all the essays after listening to the class lectures. I was so tired of reading books about male characters (and when we get a female MC, she gets raped?!). I kind of avoided it in protest.

As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realise when you read a review about it/go to ‘reread’ it that you haven’t? Which book?
Hmmm... I don't think that's happened to me.

You’re interviewing for the post of Official Book Advisor to some VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? (If you feel like you’d have to know the person, go ahead and personalize the VIP.)
I have no idea what I'd recommend. Everybody's tastes are different! Maybe Jane Eyre. It's a classic (and it's a good classic).

A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?
Klingon! Ha, ha. Just kidding. Maybe Chinese. Then I could read all the signs around here (and make sure t-shirts with Chinese characters aren't actually saying something offensive).

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?
The Tale of Peter Rabbit. It's cute and (perhaps more importantly if I have to keep rereading it) it's nice and short.

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead—let your imagination run free.
If I could have anything? Well, let's see... I guess the books would all be hardcover and all the same size. The covers could be different, but all the spines would be white (so they'd look pretty sitting on the shelves). Either that, or every book I ever wanted to read would be available on a Kindle (and the Kindle would be available here in Canada). Then I wouldn't have to worry about dusting my bookshelves.

What author do you own the most books by?
Diana Wynne Jones.

What book do you own the most copies of?
I only have one copy of each of my books.

What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore! Seriously, though, I can't really think of anyone. I kind of had a crush on Josef Kavalier from Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay when I read the book... but that was a while ago.

What book have you read more than any other?
Probably one of the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary.

What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
When I was 10, I think I was into series books like The Baby-Sitters Club. Not very profound or meaningful, I know.

What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
Breaking freaking Dawn. It still makes me want to vomit when I realize how much time I wasted on that trash.

What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb.

What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
I tend not to finish the difficult ones.

Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I prefer French dressing to Russian on my salad. As for books, I haven't read enough of either to form an opinion.

Shakespeare, Milton or Chaucer?
I wouldn't know. I've only ever read Shakespeare.

Austen or Eliot?
Again, I wouldn't know. I've yet to finish a book by either.

What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
I've never read any Dickens. Not start to finish, anyway.

What is your favorite novel?
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith or Fire and Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones.

What is your favorite play?
Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare.

What is your favorite poem?
I like parts of William Blake's Auguries of Innocence. But Bad Sir Brian Botany by A.A. Milne makes me smile, too.

What is your favorite essay?
Eh. I'm not into essays.

What is your favorite short story?
"The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry.

What is your favorite non-fiction?
Probably The Fall by Steve Taylor. It's sort of history/anthropology/religion... Very interesting book.

What is your favorite graphic novel?
I don't think I've ever read one.

What is your favorite science fiction?
The Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee. Although, that may be classed as romance or fantasy as well.

Memoir?
I really enjoyed Roald Dahl's memoirs.

Favorite History/Historical Novel?
I enjoyed Willa Cather's novels, but they weren't really "historical" when they were written! Any book that's old enough becomes historical. So I'm going to say something like... anything by Jane Austen.

Favorite mystery or noir?
I don't really read this genre.

Favourite romance?
Again, I don't really read this genre. Not in the Harlequin sense. I liked The Time Traveler's Wife, though. Does that count?

Favourite teen book?
I don't know! There are too many options... *head explodes*

Who is your favourite writer?
I don't really have one. I was really impressed with Laura Whitcomb's writing in A Certain Slant of Light, and I thought maybe I'd found a new favourite author. But her second book didn't live up to the high standards of the first.

Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephenie Meyer.

What are you reading right now?
I already answered this in Part One.

What book do you wish someone wrote so you could read it?
I don't really care, as long as it's something original. I'm tired of copycats.