Review - The Horny Little Mermaid: A Short, Sexy Fairytale

The Horny Little Mermaid: A Short, Sexy Fairytale
by P. E. Kavanagh
Date: 2018
Publisher: Bold Soul Books
Reading level: A
Book type: prose novella
Pages: 46
Format: e-book
Source: Kobo

This is no cartoon mermaid!

Ria lives in an ocean paradise, but can't get relief. Her desires are too much to handle and the lack of males isn't helping. When she makes a deal with a witch for a set of legs and the chance to finally experience satisfaction, she believes it's going to be no problem.

The owner of the golden member she spied in the ocean won't give it up to her, so she has to make do with the rest of the surfers and beach bums. Her deadline, before giving up her soul for good, is quickly approaching with no guarantee that her good boy will ever turn bad.

The Horny Little Mermaid is a sexy, whimsical retelling of the classic tale. Due to mature content, this short story is not intended for the easily offended or readers under 18.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

WARNING: Major Spoilers! To read this review with the spoilers hidden, check it out on Goodreads.

This novella (short enough to be a short story, but with chapters) is both amusing and disturbing. It was fine for a quick freebie, but it's not exactly something that's whetted my appetite for more, nor is it something I would necessarily recommend (except with a warning).

Basically, this is a twist on Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid", but with many of the recognizable elements stripped away and replaced by sex. Lots of sex. The title isn't lying. Ria is a horny mermaid. She's quite possibly the horniest character I've ever read (although, I don't usually read erotica, so that's not saying much). Unlike all the other mermaids, she has this urge that just can't be quenched, and she spends a lot of time in this special field where (I'm assuming) she does some sort of masturbation trick with some boulders. Anyway, one day, she sees a surfer tumble into the waves. His torn wetsuit reveals his glowing penis (well, it's probably not glowing, but the clumsy description using words like "golden" and "halo" makes it sound like it is) and Ria gets all hot and bothered. So she goes to the witch, Vera, and makes a deal. I assumed it would be similar to the deal in the original story, but it turned out not to be... which ended up being kind of disturbing.

In this version, Ria doesn't lose her voice. She basically screws away her month of humanity with any guy she can get her hands on. Unfortunately, Philip, the surfer she rescued from the waves, isn't interested. But Ria won't take no for an answer. This is the part I really have a problem with. I kept thinking, "What if the genders were reversed?" Well, what Ria did would probably be viewed as sexual harassment and sexual assault. It's not right that the book's basically portraying this as okay because it's a female doing the groping and fondling. (The ending takes this even further, when it turns out that Philip's been used all along. I wondered what the witch was getting for her end of the bargain, since she didn't take Ria's voice. Since all the young mermen were killed off by pollution, there's a shortage of males... and you can probably see where this is going. Ria basically rapes Philip on the beach--he's portrayed as being frozen in shock--and with that act, he's cursed into becoming a merman while Ria gets to stay in human form and screw human males for the rest of her life. But it's okay, because she somehow isn't attracted to Philip's glowing dick anymore. Never mind what Philip has to say about any of this; we never actually find out.)

The writing itself isn't terrible, but there are a number of editing lapses that mark the story as a self-published one. The dialogue is wooden (sorry... no pun intended) and there are some word choices that aren't quite right. The style is fairly simple, but when the author tries to get a little fancier, we end up with some interesting similes that seem a little purple (again, sorry) and are kind of hilarious; comparing the moon to a "pendulous breast" and having a cock bob "from side to side like a metronome" are some of my favourite bits (oh, my god... why do all my comments sound dirty?!).

I guess the worst part for me was simply the issue of the lack of consent. Philip keeps saying no, and Ria thinks that means "try harder". If the genders were reversed, this story would rightly be called out for promoting the idea that you're entitled to sex if you're horny enough. It's pretty problematic, no matter which way you look at it.

Premise: 2/5
Plot: 1/5
Characters: 2/5
Pace: 2/5
Writing: 3/5
Editing: 3/5
Originality: 3/5
Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall Rating: 2.13 out of 5 ladybugs