Thursday, November 20, 2014

Booking Through Thursday (39)

Booking Through Thursday asks:

If you could change the ending of any book you’ve read, which would it be and how would you change it?

Ooh... this is a fun one.  Okay, let's see.  Heh... I have just the book:

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

In my rewrite, the Volturi would come to Forks and kill all the vampires because they went ahead and made a baby vampire.  No, wait... we'll have to back up, because there shouldn't even have been a baby vampire, based on the rules that Meyer laid out earlier.

Edward is supposedly like marble... so the story really should have ended on their wedding night.  Bella dies from massive hemorrhaging after having sex with the equivalent of a well-hung stone statue.  Oh, wait... vampires don't have blood flowing through their veins, so sex wouldn't even be possible in the first place.

Darn it, Meyer!  Why'd you have to make this so hard?

Okay, let's back up even further.

At the end of Twilight, Edward would realize that his presence in Bella's life only serves to put her in danger, so he gallantly bows out of the equation, leaving Bella free to fall in love with Jacob, who, without Renesmee in the picture, believes for the rest of his life that it's actually Bella he loves and imprints upon... and not just her ovary.  They end up living happily ever after, eventually marrying and having a litter of babies who all tend to smell like wet dog (because it's the Pacific Northwest and it's always wet and raining, according to Arizona-based Meyer).

Oh, wait.  If Jacob was in love with Bella's ovary, that means he might imprint on his own kid!  Darn it...

Okay.  James kills Bella in the ballet studio.  The end.  (Sorry... but that's the only logical conclusion to this series.)

What book's ending would you like to change?  Tell me in the comments!


  1. Awesome and I totally agree with all you said.

  2. Amazing choice, and YES. To all of that, yes!

  3. Lots of books I mentally rewrite the ending when I'm not satisfied. (When the book is great, but the ending not so much)

    I haven't read Twilight but your re-endings were funny.

  4. Ugh, Twilight. Fiction with that much *internal* inconsistency should not be that popular! I applaud your attempt to try to fix it, and that version does sound much more logical. :)