Sunday, July 16, 2023

Review - Not If I Save You First [AUDIO]

Not If I Save You First

by Ally Carter
Date: 2018
Publisher: Scholastic
Reading level: YA
Book type: prose novel
Length: 6 hours 55 minutes
Format: audio book [unabridged]
Source: library

Bestselling author Ally Carter returns with an exciting stand-alone novel, about a girl stranded in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness with the boy who wronged her . . . as an assassin moves in.

Maddie and Logan were torn apart by a kidnapping attempt when they were young. They were only kids -- Logan's dad was POTUS and Maddie's father was the Secret Service agent meant to guard him. The kidnappers were stopped -- but Maddie was whisked off to Alaska with her father, for safety. Maddie and Logan had been inseparable . . . but then she never heard from him again.

Now it's a few years later. Maddie's a teenager, used to living a solitary life with her father. It's quiet -- until Logan is sent to join them. After all this time without word, Maddie has nothing to say to him -- until their outpost is attacked, and Logan is taken. They won't be out of the woods until they're . . . out of the woods, and Maddie's managed to thwart the foes and reconcile with Logan.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I don't know why I do these things to myself...

It's been a while since I read a novel, but I didn't really feel like reading a novel, so I thought I'd find an audiobook instead. But... have you seen the length of some of those things? Fourteen hours just seems kind of intimidating. So when I found Not If I Save You First, which clocks in at just under seven hours, I thought I'd found a quick, fun read.

Hah.

I don't know if it was just the narrator or if I would've felt the same way if I'd been reading the print version, but I could not stand Maddie. It's like she was supposed to be a statement against the "not like other girls" trope, but it went so far that the girl was insufferable. When you've just been kidnapped by Russians in the Alaskan wilderness, the last thing you should be thinking about is your hair. And even if the whole carefree valley-girl thing that she lapsed into whenever things got serious was some sort of defence mechanism, it was extremely annoying. I was honestly rooting for her to get pushed off a cliff by the end of the book.

Aside from the far-fetched story, this book has some other problems. In Chapter 14, there's suddenly all this weird, sexist talk that seems to come out of nowhere. It makes the book seem like it was written in the past. And yet, the male MC almost comes across as emasculated thanks to the insistence on Maddie solving all their problems (with a metaphorical flip of the hair and a cheeky, "Whatever!"). This particular book also doesn't lend itself very well to the audiobook format. It was fine when there was just one Russian. He had an accent, so it was easy to tell when he was talking. But then there were suddenly two Russians, and I had to back up a few times to try to figure out who was saying what because there weren't always dialogue tags to indicate it.

One of the biggest annoyances, though, was the author's insistence on continually using the characters' names... even when they were alone in a scene or when Maddie and Logan were by themselves. "She" and "he" would've been more than sufficient and a lot less distracting.

That was part of the problem. This book just didn't hold my interest, and I got distracted a lot. I couldn't tell you some of the finer plot points because I kind of zoned out, and there was even a bit near the end where I forgot where Logan was. By that point, though, I had so little investment in the story that I didn't bother to go back and re-listen. I just wanted to be done.


Plot: 2/5
Characters: 1/5
Pace: 2/5
Performance: 2/5
Originality: 2/5
Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall: 1.5 out of 5

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Review - Tie en-iras, tie el-iras!

Tie en-iras, tie el-iras!

by Philipp Winterberg
Date: 2013
Publisher: Philipp Winterberg
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 28
Format: e-book
Source: Amazon.ca

When the neighbor complains, Ruby teases and the kindergarten teacher keeps nagging, Joseph couldn't care less. Luckily, you have two ears: one for in and one for out. There is only one person in the world that Joseph listens to ...

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I've been dabbling with learning Esperanto on Duolingo, and I thought it might be fun to try reading a book. I'm not ready for anything advanced, so I figured a picture book would be a good place to start. I'm obviously not even at picture-book level yet, because I would've been lost without the accompanying English!

As for the book itself... I don't get the story. I mean, I get it, but I don't understand why everyone is so horrible to this child. It's a good thing that Joseph turns into Noseph, allowing people's barbs and insults to go in one ear and out the other (which is what the title references). Holy moly! The people in this book are mean. A classmate tells him his drawing is silly (actually, in Esperanto, the word used is the one I was taught meant "ugly"; I guess it's still an insult). His teacher (I think) tells him his block tower is rubbish. His mother tells him he eats like a pig. A couple of brats on the playground tell him he can't do anything. Noseph just ignores all this horrific treatment... which I guess is fine, but none of these awful comments are really addressed. Is this what we're training kids to expect? Normalized cruelty and tearing-down of others?

The illustrations are cute, but nothing really memorable.
 
I think I'm more disturbed by the behaviour of the majority of the characters than anything else. I don't think I learned any Esperanto, though; I was far too distracted by the cruelty directed at Joseph/Noseph. If a good Esperanto picture book is what I'm after... I'll have to keep looking.

Premise: 2/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 3/5
Originality: 3/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall: 1.86 out of 5

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Review - Five Flying Penguins

Five Flying Penguins

by Barbara Barbieri McGrath
illustrated by Stephanie Fizer Coleman
Date: 2018
Publisher: Charlesbridge
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

Five little penguins are content in the cold--until they spot a menacing mammal!

With a rhyming narrative that counts to five, adorable penguins are soaring--or flying--through the sea, trying to elude a lurking creature. But as young readers of this charming tale will discover, a friendly seal is only looking to play a game of tag.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

False advertising! None of these penguins fly. (And you know some astute kids are going to point this out. Just be forewarned.)

This is a pleasant-to-look at picture book that incorporates rhyme, counting, cute pictures, excitement, and a twist at the end. While I didn't love the metre and rhythm here, it's not as bad as in some other books I've seen, and it's still readable. The illustrations are the real star, though, showing off a diverse group of colourful penguins as they scamper through a largely turquoise landscape (the choice to stay away from keeping every page white and snowy was a good one).

Check this one out if you're looking for cute counting books with a little more of a story.

Premise: 4/5
Meter: 3/5
Writing: 4/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 3.86 out of 5

Monday, March 27, 2023

Review - The Climb

The Climb

by Amra Pajalic
Date: 2022
Publisher: Amra Pajalic
Reading level: YA
Book type: prose novella
Pages: 86
Format: e-book
Source: newsletter

"Noah and Zephyra have been best friends since they started high school. Zephyra thinks of Noah as a brother. Noah thinks Zephyra is the one.

Zephyra’s only interest in romance is between the covers of her favourite romance novels. Noah believes now that they’re sixteen it’s just a matter of time until their friendship becomes a relationship.

When they are completing a one week bike marathon their friendship hits some unexpected speed bumps. Will their friendship turn into something more or will they crash?

The Climb, a young adult contemporary romance."

(synopsis from Goodreads)

There's a reason self-published authors are encouraged to hire editors. This book is a prime example of why. In the beginning, it wasn't too terrible, so I thought I'd just keep reading; the book is short, after all. But at around Chapter 5, things took a turn for the worse, and reading this book became more of an exercise in endurance than enjoyment. (I will admit that I did enjoy some of the unintentionally funny typos and turns of phrase... but that's probably the only enjoyment I got out of this.)

The basic premise isn't bad. Two friends, Zephyra and Noah, join a school-sponsored charity bike ride. This forms the backdrop for the rest of the story, which is basically all about the characters. Unfortunately, none of the characters are likeable, or even realistic. We're stuck with stereotypes, and strange adult characters who come across like they're preteens.

My biggest issue, though, is the relationship between Zephyra and Noah. They're best friends. But Noah has a thing for Zephyra. Like... a getting-a-boner-on-the-bus sort of thing. (This book gets pretty graphic in spots, especially for a YA novella. It's definitely not for the younger end of that age group!) The problem is... he doesn't seem to have heard of a little thing called consent. Throughout the book, he repeatedly kisses or tries to kiss Zephyra, then gets angry when she tells him (also repeatedly) that she's not interested. Eventually, she comes around because of jealousy, and Noah gets the girl. I hate this. Make a nuisance of yourself until you get what you want? Great lesson.

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Even if the relationship aspects had been dealt with better, the editing was non-existent. Seriously. The book shifts from third person to first person... twice. Save your time and skip this one.


Premise: 1/5
Plot: 2/5
Characters: 0/5
Pace: 2/5
Writing: 1/5
Editing: 0/5
Originality: 2/5
Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall Rating: 1 out of 5 ladybugs

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Review - The Smart Cookie

The Smart Cookie
(The Food Group #5)
by Jory John
illustrated by Pete Oswald
Date: 2021
Publisher: HarperCollins
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 40
Format: e-book
Source: library

Be a smart cookie—and don’t miss the fifth picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series from creators Jory John and Pete Oswald!

This cookie has never felt like a smart cookie no matter how hard she tries, especially in comparison to all the clever cupcakes and brilliant rolls in the bakery. Will a dash of creativity and a sprinkle of confidence be enough to help her learn that perfect scores and having all the answers aren’t the only ingredients for intelligence?

Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I finally got my hands on The Smart Cookie, the fifth book in Jory John and Pete Oswald's series about sentient foodstuffs. It's just as cute as the others.

In this case, we're introduced to a cookie with a problem. She appears to have some sort of learning disability; even though she tries hard, she just can't keep up sometimes. So she thinks she's not that smart. But when her teacher, Ms. Biscotti, assigns some creative homework, the cookie gains confidence as she realizes that there are many different ways to be smart.

This is another fun book in The Food Group series. Check out my reviews for the other books:


Premise: 4/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 4/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 4 out of 5

Monday, January 2, 2023

Review - The Sour Grape

The Sour Grape
(The Food Group #6)
by Jory John
illustrated by Pete Oswald
Date: 2022
Publisher: HarperCollins
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 40
Format: e-book
Source: library

The Sour Grape holds grudges for every reason under the sun. Lime never returned a scarf they borrowed? Grudge! Orange never called back? Grudge! But when a friend holds a grudge against the Sour Grape without listening to an explanation, the Sour Grape realizes how unfair grudges can be. Could a bunch of forgiveness and compassion be enough to turn a sour grape sweet?

Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!

(synopsis from Goodreads)

In the newest instalment of Jory John and Pete Oswald's series about emotional foodstuffs, a sour grape comes to the realization that, by holding grudges and being negative, they're cheating themselves out of the good things in life: friendship, gratitude, and inner peace.

The illustrations are cute, as they always are in these books. The text is simple, while also utilizing some challenging vocabulary (a feature I always appreciate in picture books when it's done well).

All in all, this is a nice addition to The Food Group series. Check out my reviews for some of the other books:


Premise: 4/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 4/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 4 out of 5

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Review - Fonchito and the Moon

Fonchito and the Moon

by Mario Vargas Llosa
illustrated by Marta Chicote Juiz
Date: 2010
Publisher: Kales Press
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 40
Format: e-book
Source: library

Don't miss your first Mario Vargas Llosa: Fonchito and the Moon.

Fonchito falls in love for the very first time and discovers that there is nothing one cannot do for a loved one, even if what they wish for is the moon!

(synopsis from Goodreads)

Somehow, I expected more from "one of the world's greatest writers". I don't know if something was lost in translation or what. But I found this cringey more than charming, and the abrupt ending didn't help.

Fonchito is obsessed with a little girl at school. He basically objectifies her, and he wants to kiss her on the cheek because she's pretty. (At least he asks permission.) Nereida, visibly embarrassed, sets the boy an impossible condition: If he wants that kiss, he has to bring her the moon.

The rest of the story is a little bit clunky, and I'm not sure if that's down to the translation or if the story itself is just weak. Fonchito figures out a way to bring Nereida the moon. The boy gets his kiss. The end.

There's something to be said for simplicity in picture books, but this goes so far beyond simple that it doesn't really have any substance. Fonchito only wants to kiss the girl because she's beautiful. Not because she's smart or strong or clever enough to try to thwart a horny little boy with a seemingly impossible errand. (I mean... she obviously didn't really want that kiss if she made the condition that difficult to achieve.)

The illustrations are sort of cute, but the story just isn't enough. The author's adult books may be great; I don't know. But being a good writer for adults doesn't automatically mean you'll be a great writer for kids. This picture book is a perfect example of that.

Premise: 2/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 3/5
Originality: 3/5

Enjoyment: 2/5

Overall: 2.5 out of 5