Review - There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Turkey!

There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Turkey! (There Was an Old Lady)
by Lucille Colandro
illustrated by Jared D. Lee
Date: 2016
Publisher: Cartwheel Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

The old lady is at it again, and this time she's swallowing a Turkey... she's always been quirky!

You won't believe why this old lady swallowed a turkey, a ball, a hat, a balloon, a boat, some wheels, and a horn of plenty!

Read this book and find out why!

(synopsis from Goodreads)

Okay, I get that this is based on that poem about the old lady who swallowed a fly. But this is just bad. And the old lady, with her hinged jaw that she uses to gobble up (heh) a live turkey is just disturbing. She swallows turkeys and boats and balloons and hats because she's "quirky"? It sounds to me like the old lady has pica, and she really should get that checked out.

And there's a whole series of these books? Yikes. I wasn't that impressed with what I saw here. A ball, a hat, and wheels aren't exactly interesting things to swallow, and I couldn't figure out how they were even connected at first. She eventually regurgitates them all to make a parade float, but... Actually, no. Just no. This is ridiculously stupid.

If you like watching old people swallow things and then barf them back up, you might like this book. Otherwise, you probably won't.

Premise: 2/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 2/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 1/5

Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall: 1.17 out of 5

Review - This Is Not a Valentine

This Is Not a Valentine
by Carter Higgins
illustrated by Lucy Ruth Cummins
Date: 2017
Publisher: Chronicle Books (CA)
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 48
Format: e-book
Source: library

This book is not a valentine. It doesn't have lacey edges or sugary hearts. But it is full of lucky rocks, secret hiding spots, and gumball machine treasures. This is a book about waiting in line and wishing for cinnamon buns. About recognizing that if you care so much about someone not thinking you care, maybe you really do. But wait--isn't that exactly what love is about? Maybe this book is sort of a valentine after all. A testament to handmade, wacky, bashful, honest love--sure to win over the hearts of all readers--this offering from debut picture book author Carter Higgins and children's book veteran Lucy Ruth Cummins is the perfect gift to celebrate every relationship, from parent to child, sibling to sibling, partner to partner, crush to crush.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

There were parts of this book that I liked, but there were some others that seemed kind of problematic, and the whole thing felt a bit uneven to me.

Mainly, the thing I noticed is that the book feels dated. There are mentions of cursive (which isn't even taught anymore), a kid giving the jelly side of her PB&J to her friend (let's hope he doesn't have a deadly peanut allergy), and the mention of a number of old-fashioned games (that I'm not even sure are played anymore). As an adult, all of those things would be something I could imagine being in a book written for kids when I was a kid myself... decades ago. So it almost seems like a case of the author being a little out of touch.

Some of the "non-Valentines" are sweet, like the cheap ring that matches the girl's best shoelaces or the self-portrait she draws for the boy, even though the green marker was the only one that worked. The idea of this book is nice, showing that tokens of affection don't always have to be traditional, store-bought gifts or cards; in these cases, it really is the thought behind the "non-Valentines" that counts.

The artwork... was odd. The kids are fine, and they represent sort of a middle ground. There are a few illustrations that are ultra-realistic in comparison, and then a few (like the bus driver! What is up with the bus driver?!) that are so basic that it almost looked like someone forgot to finish them. So the visual aspect of the book seemed very uneven.

Overall, this wasn't terrible, and I thought the underlying premise was sweet. But the dated feeling and inconsistent artwork kind of brought my rating down a bit.

Premise: 4/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 3/5

Overall: 3.17 out of 5

Review - I've Loved You Since Forever

I've Loved You Since Forever
by Hoda Kotb
illustrated by Suzie Mason
Date: 2018
Publisher: HarperCollins
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

New York Times #1 Bestseller!

I've Loved You Since Forever is a celebratory and poetic testament to the timeless love felt between parent and child. This beautiful picture book is inspired by Today show co-anchor Hoda Kotb's heartwarming adoption of her baby girl, Haley Joy.

With Kotb's lyrical text and stunning pictures by Suzie Mason, young ones and parents will want to snuggle up and read the pages of this book together, over and over again.

In the universe,

there was you and

there was me,

waiting for the day our

stars would meet...

(synopsis from Goodreads)

This is a really, really quick read (seriously, it probably took me under a minute to get through). But it's a book I might go back to again, since the sentiment, the words, and the pictures are all quite strong. I can see this being a bedtime favourite, with kids looking at the cute pictures of young animals and their parents, and the gentle rhythmic narrative lulling them to sleep.

This one would make a lovely baby gift, too.

Premise: 4/5
Meter: 3/5
Writing: 4/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 3.86 out of 5

Review - It Takes a Village

It Takes a Village
by Hillary Rodham Clinton
illustrated by Marla Frazee
Date: 2017
Publisher: Simon Schuster/Paula Wiseman Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 40
Format: e-book
Source: library

“What does it take to change the world?”

Former Secretary of State and Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton’s first book for young readers, inspired by the themes of her classic New York Times bestselling book It Takes a Village, and illustrated by two-time Caldecott Honor recipient Marla Frazee, asks readers what can they do to make the world a better place?

It Takes a Village tells the heartwarming and universal story of a diverse community coming together to make a difference. All kinds of people working together, playing together, and living together in harmony makes a better village and many villages coming together can make a better world. Together we can build a better life for one another. Together we can change our world.

The book will resonate with children and families and through the generations as it encourages readers to look for a way they can make a difference. It is a book that you will surely want to read again and again, a book you will want to share and a book that will inspire.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

It's funny how I seem to find library e-books in clusters. One day, I read a couple of books about elephants. Another day, I read a couple of books whose titles started with How to.... Today, I came across picture books by both Hillary Clinton and her daughter, Chelsea. I read Chelsea's first, which may have been a mistake... because it make her mom's look weak in comparison.

This seems to be the sort of picture book that's aimed at adults more than kids. Yes, kids are smart. Yes, community and cooperation are important. But, you know what? Most kids already know these things, so a book like this is kind of pointless; the intended audience won't get a lot out of it, and the people who really need such a book will write it off as beneath them. I couldn't help feeling a little confused, too, as I was reading it. Although I understood the overall message, there were certain lines that felt out of place, and more political than they needed to be:

Children are
born believers.
And citizens, too.

(I have nothing against those words, but I question their value in a picture book. What does that comment about citizenship even mean in the context of building a playground?)

I'd encountered the illustrator's work before in The Boss Baby, but here, the pictures didn't really work for me. They're cute, but the background skies that have been drawn in kind of gave the pictures an ominous feel (at least for me), and sort of made the whole thing look dull. So I wasn't really a fan.

This isn't a bad book, but it's not a great one, either. Sorry, Hillary, but Chelsea's got you beat in the picture-book department.

Premise: 4/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 3/5
Originality: 3/5

Enjoyment: 2/5

Overall: 2.83 out of 5

Review - She Persisted

She Persisted
by Chelsea Clinton
illustrated by Alexandra Boiger
Date: 2017
Publisher: Philomel Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book non-fiction
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

Chelsea Clinton introduces tiny feminists, mini activists and little kids who are ready to take on the world to thirteen inspirational women who never took no for an answer, and who always, inevitably and without fail, persisted.

Throughout American history, there have always been women who have spoken out for what’s right, even when they have to fight to be heard. In early 2017, Senator Elizabeth Warren’s refusal to be silenced in the Senate inspired a spontaneous celebration of women who persevered in the face of adversity. In this book, Chelsea Clinton celebrates thirteen American women who helped shape our country through their tenacity, sometimes through speaking out, sometimes by staying seated, sometimes by captivating an audience. They all certainly persisted.

She Persisted is for everyone who has ever wanted to speak up but has been told to quiet down, for everyone who has ever tried to reach for the stars but was told to sit down, and for everyone who has ever been made to feel unworthy or unimportant or small.

With vivid, compelling art by Alexandra Boiger, this book shows readers that no matter what obstacles may be in their paths, they shouldn’t give up on their dreams. Persistence is power.

This book features: Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Clara Lemlich, Nellie Bly, Maria Tallchief, Claudette Colvin, Ruby Bridges, Margaret Chase Smith, Sally Ride, Florence Griffith Joyner, Oprah Winfrey, Sonia Sotomayor—and one special cameo.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

This book was actually a fairly pleasant surprise. I'm always a little wary when it comes to celebrity picture books. I did enjoy Barack Obama's turn as a children's book author, so I thought I'd give this one a try. And though I'm not American, I still found the subject matter interesting.

She Persisted presents 13 women who achieved their goals despite the odds being stacked against them. Some of them--Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Oprah Winfrey--I wasn't surprised to see. But there were a few women that I'd never even heard of before, such as Clara Lemlich, Maria Tallchief, and Claudette Colvin. I was also surprised to learn that Apgar scores were named after a woman; I'd always assumed the system was devised by a man, which goes to show why books like this are needed.

Each quick vignette is accompanied by a quote from the person in question, and the book is illustrated beautifully. This would be a great gift for a girl, even if she's not American (although there is a second book called She Persisted Around the World, which looks a little more global).

Highly recommended!

Premise: 5/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 5/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 4/5

Enjoyment: 5/5

Overall: 4.67 out of 5

Review - Yellow Kayak

Yellow Kayak
by Nina Laden
illustrated by Melissa Castrillón
Date: 2018
Publisher: Simon Schuster/Paula Wiseman Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

A child and his beloved best friend go on a grand sea adventure in this magical picture book by the author and artist who created If I Had a Little Dream.

You just never know what a new day will hold if you are brave enough to find out. On one quiet afternoon, a boy and his special friend’s unexpected adventure bring joy and excitement and sights never imagined. And the best part of any adventure is returning home with stories to tell and you best friend at your side.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

The cover drew me in, but unfortunately, that's about the only thing I liked about this book.

Yes, the illustrations are cute. But I have a big problem with them: they don't match the text on multiple occasions! And you just know that kids are going to notice something like that. It starts on the very first page with the text:

Yellow kayak.
Blue sky.
Paddle swiftly.
Wave good-bye.

Now, what colour does the sky appear to you? Because it looks pink to me.

I suppose you could argue that the turquoise stuff is the sky, but I interpreted that as clouds... and I'd be surprised if I was the only one who did.

Later in the book, it happens again:

Yellow kayak.
Gray sky.
Paddle carefully.
Seagulls cry.

This time, it's even more confusing, as grey isn't even in the colour palette... but you could perhaps argue that, this time, the sky is navy:

There are also some elements that I found confusing (on the second page, there's a picture of what looks like a beached whale, which horrified me at first; it took a few seconds of looking to realize it was a badly drawn seal). At one point, there's a smiling shark below the boat, and neither the boy nor his friend seem particularly worried (in fact, the giraffe's sticking his head below the surface!)... but then, when some whales come along, they're suddenly in danger:

Hulking monsters.
Spray blows.
Circle round.
Danger grows.

Hulking monsters? Danger? Is this some sort of pro-whaling propaganda, or has the author just come off of reading Moby Dick?

And then there's the whole ridiculous premise, with a boy and his giraffe friend going off by themselves in a boat (arguably not a kayak, since they use one single-bladed paddle, while most kayakers use a double-bladed one). Who lets their kid go off in a boat by themselves (I'm assuming the giraffe is imaginary because... well, why would there be a giraffe in the Pacific Northwest?) when there's a storm coming, and doesn't call the Coast Guard when they don't return home that night? There isn't even anyone waiting for them when they return (despite one of the first lines of the book, which talks about waving goodbye). It's just too unbelievable.

This book is going to make kids ask a lot of questions, but that's probably going to be more annoying than beneficial. And I wouldn't blame them one bit; so much about this book makes no sense, so you're left with no choice but to say, "What?!"

Premise: 1/5
Meter: 3/5
Writing: 2/5
Illustrations: 3/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall: 1.86 out of 5

Review - Idea Jar

Idea Jar
by Adam Lehrhaupt
illustrated by Deb Pilutti
Date: 2017
Publisher: Simon Schuster/Paula Wiseman Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

From the author of Warning: Do Not Open This Book comes a lively story about a teacher’s special jar where her students keep their story ideas—but watch out when those ideas go on the loose!

The idea jar is where students keep their ideas—anything from a Viking to a space robot to a giant dragon. These ideas can be combined to make new exciting stories. But watch out when the ideas escape the jar—they might get a little rowdy! Adam Lehrhaupt’s newest picture book is sure to inspire creativity, imagination, and adventure.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I didn't like this. Aside from the statement that there are no bad story ideas (which is demonstrably false), it's too chaotic and cluttered. Yes, an idea jar can be helpful. But there's also knowing when to stop adding ingredients so you don't spoil your recipe. This book seems to take the position that more is better, leading to a "story" about a viking, a space robot, a dragon, and a horseless cowgirl. I think it's important to be able to take one idea and really polish it... rather than just adding other random ideas to make it more interesting.

The illustrations didn't wow me, either (especially the stereotypical viking with his stupid horned helmet).

I wouldn't bother with this one again. It's a shame, because it had the potential to be really interesting.

Premise: 1/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall: 1.67 out of 5