Review - Olivia the Spy

Olivia the Spy (Olivia #8)
by Ian Falconer
Date: 2017
Publisher: Atheneum/Caitlyn Dlouhy Books
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 40
Format: e-book
Source: library

Everyone’s favorite pig is about to have a birthday…but will her penchant for eavesdropping lead to more than presents?

Olivia’s birthday is days away. Plans must be made. Who makes plans? Moms! Who simply must know the plans? Olivia, who is NOT above eavesdropping. But when she not-so-accidentally-but-kinda overhears her mom talking about her not-so-squeaky-clean-and-possibly-very-bad-behavior, Olivia’s imagination runs wild…because it sounds like not only will there be no birthday, but Mom might just be sending her to military school instead. What a BAD birthday that would be!

(synopsis from Goodreads)

This is my first experience with Olivia, and I have to say, I'm not impressed.

I don't mind that Olivia's a brat. What really got to me is how her mother was talking badly about her within earshot... and then the kid got blamed for eavesdropping. I didn't find the plot about Olivia thinking she was going to get sent to an institution (like military school) very funny; that could be pretty frightening for some kids. And does anybody learn a lesson? Not really. Olivia shows that she's "learned" something by spouting a bunch of long words that the audience for this book probably won't understand ("partial truths and misinformation", "insecure and suspicious"), and her mother apparently learns nothing at all (while Olivia is off crashing the ballet, the mother is standing with another pig, still talking about how much trouble her daughter is).

I didn't like the pictures. I especially didn't like how the photographs were incorporated into some--but not all--of the illustrations. It made the book look very uneven; I would've preferred straight illustrations (but maybe Falconer was too lazy to draw buildings and washing machines).

This is the only e-book my library has in this series. I'm not that disappointed; I don't think I'd want to read another of these books, anyway.

Premise: 1/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 2/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall: 1.17 out of 5

Review - High and Lifted Up

High and Lifted Up
by Mike Krath
Date: 2003
Publisher: East of the Web
Reading level: C
Book type: short story
Pages: 3
Format: e-book
Source: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/

A children's story about a boy who turns into a leaf.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I have to wonder if the title is in reference to the state of the author when he wrote this. A boy turns into a leaf (or does he?) and flies through the air with his leaf friends as they head toward a dump, while his mother chases him in the car and warns him not to go near the smoke.

Huh?

Maybe there's some deep, hidden meaning in here that we're supposed to tease out. But since it was shelved in the children's section, I chose to read it as a simple story for kids. As such, it doesn't work. It's just too weird and stupid, and not written well enough that I'd want to put it into kids' hands.

Flying high... sneaking away from parents to hang out with friends... smoke... Is there some metaphor for pot-fuelled teenage rebellion that I'm missing here?

Plot: 1/5
Characters: 1/5
Pace: 1/5
Writing & Editing: 2/5
Originality: 1/5

Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall Rating: 0.86 out of 5 ladybugs

Review - A Crown of Kingfishers

A Crown of Kingfishers
by Kenneth Duffy
Date: 2017
Publisher: East of the Web
Reading level: C
Book type: short story
Pages: 6
Format: e-book
Source: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/

It being the last Thursday of the month, the greatest witch in Ireland had gone to the hairdressers and would not return for another hour.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

This story's synopsis makes it sound a lot more fun and whimsical than it really is. Instead of the Harry Potter-esque story I was anticipating, I got something akin to literary fantasy with very little magic.

Simon's granny is a witch. She also has a terrible problem with memory, which leads to her going off to the hairdresser when some nasty creature called the Gollus is going to show up in the garage and destroy all the worlds. Simon has always known that he's going to need to one day decide whether to become a muggle Lockhead or be like his granny in the world of magic. But the Gollus' appearance forces his hand, and he has to make his choice right there and then.

Why do I say it's like literary fiction? Because of the non-standard dialogue, for one thing. This is supposed to be a story for children, but the dialogue isn't punctuated as such. And each of the three characters who have dialogue have it formatted differently: the heron is in italics, the Gollus is in studly caps, and Simon is... well, Simon's dialogue isn't set off at all, except as a separate paragraph. Talk about confusing! The story also begins with a two long paragraphs of exposition, which further distances it from something kids (especially reluctant readers) are going to want to read.

This was probably one of the least magical stories about magic I've ever read. The cacophony in the house (and its origins) was interesting, but beyond that, there's really nothing that exciting or unusual. Simon's great magical moment consists of shouting a five-word sentence, and somehow everything is fixed. For someone who's supposed to be performing magic, he's pretty passive; he managed to defeat the villain and save the worlds without really doing anything at all.

I have a feeling this story was more exciting in the author's head than it ended up being on the page. The weird style choices and long paragraphs made this a bit of a chore to read, and I wasn't impressed with the resolution. (It would've helped to know why the Gollus was such a bad dude. Saying he's going to destroy the worlds is just... Well, I want to know more. Why? What's his motive? How can he be stopped? What happens if he actually does destroy all the worlds? Does he cease to exist, too? If so, why would he want to do it?)

Too many questions, not enough answers. Skip this one.

Plot: 2/5
Characters: 1/5
Pace: 1/5
Writing & Editing: 2/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall Rating: 1.43 out of 5 ladybugs

Review - BERTIE

BERTIE
by Jon Langford
Date: 2017
Publisher: East of the Web
Reading level: A
Book type: short story
Pages: 6
Format: e-book
Source: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/

What would you do if your family preferred a robot over you?

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I'd read another short story by this author and sort of enjoyed it, so I thought I'd give this one a try. The synopsis was intriguing, and I like science fiction, so I thought maybe I'd like this.

But... I didn't. I can't tell if the author intentionally made the narrator insufferable or if he was supposed to be a sympathetic character. But I hated the guy. He oozed disdain for his wife; he couldn't seem to think of anything nice to say about her. When he's called out for his parenting skills, he turns himself into the victim. He comes across as a narcissist, and that's all fine and good, but since I couldn't tell whether it was intentional or not, I was really uncomfortable reading this.

The synopsis poses the question: What would you do if your family preferred a robot over you? The answer should be: Try acting like a caring father and husband (consistently) and stop viewing your family as a worthless burden. I mean, there was absolutely no reason the wife and daughter should've preferred the narrator over the robot. His actions at the end of the story further reinforced the fact that he's just an insecure dick with a bruised ego.

Plot: 1/5
Characters: 1/5
Pace: 2/5
Writing & Editing: 2/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall Rating: 1.43 out of 5 ladybugs

Review - This Book Is Red

This Book Is Red (Books That Drive Kids CRAZY! #3)
by Beck & Matt Stanton
Date: 2018
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

This clever companion to This Is a Ball and Did You Take the B from My _ook? is the perfect read-aloud for the giggling masses who love Hervé Tullet’s Press Here, Lane Smith’s It’s a Book!, and BJ Novak’s The Book With No Pictures.

The Books That Drive Kids CRAZY! series offers parents, teachers, and storytellers a hilarious script for fun reading time with children. In Book 3, This Book Is Red, something is clearly bonkers when the narrator insists that frogs and penguins are obviously the same color as lobsters–and the claims get more outrageous from there. What is up with this nonsense? Kids will demand to know–and all readers will be howling with laughter all along the way. With strikingly simple text and art, Books That Drive Kids CRAZY! are ideal picks for emergent readers.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

I've read the first two books in this series and sort of enjoyed them, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way. If you insist on reading this kiddie gaslighting garbage to your kids, make sure they've had an eye exam first to check for colourblindness. I can only imagine how confusing this book would be for people with the condition.

Instead of seeming silly and fun, this book bordered on abusive for me. Telling kids over and over that green and yellow and purple are actually red, and then breaking out the "I'm the grown-up. What I say goes" crap just gave me shivers. If kids have experienced gaslighting, this could potentially cause upset and confusion. ("They are red because I said so!" Ugh.) Even the play on the words "red" and "read" at the end couldn't save this for me.

I'm not sure why this book bothered me. The first two didn't irk me nearly so much. Maybe the gimmick is getting old. In any case, I can't recommend this one at all.

Premise: 1/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 2/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 3/5

Enjoyment: 0/5

Overall: 1.33 out of 5

Review - Hello Kitty Presents the Storybook Collection: The Little Mermaid

Hello Kitty Presents the Storybook Collection: The Little Mermaid (Hello Kitty Presents the Storybook Collection)
by Susanne Chambers
illustrated by Karla A. Alfonzo
Date: 2016
Publisher: Abrams Appleseed
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

In this new addition to the storybook series, Hello Kitty stars as the Little Mermaid.

(synopsis from Goodreads)

This retelling is a waste of a perfectly good fairy tale. First of all, I really question the wisdom of retelling a story about a character who loses her voice using a character that doesn't even have a mouth! But that's not even the worst part of this book.

The first part follows a simplified version of Andersen's original story. Hello Kitty (as a mermaid) longs to know what life is like on land. During a storm, she rescues a prince from drowning. Then she pines over him and sings sad songs. Eventually, she goes to the Sea Witch for help and gets a potion that will turn her tail into legs... at the cost of her voice. She wants that prince, though, so she drinks the potion.

Everything was fine (albeit really simple) up until the end. The prince recognizes Hello Kitty as the mermaid who saved him, and kisses her cheek in thanks. She gets her voice back, and everyone lives happily ever after. Okay... but there's just one problem: one of the conditions of the potion was that the prince had to fall in love with her to break the spell. But all that happened was that the prince kissed her cheek "to show his gratitude". Does gratitude equal love now? That's kind of a confusing message to be sending young readers.

The illustrations are colourful and sickly sweet, but this is Sanrio, after all. It's to be expected. I did find it a little odd, though, that all the major characters have no mouths (and therefore limited facial expressions) while minor characters like fish, crabs, and starfish are all depicted grinning like idiots. It's difficult to connect to the main characters when their expressions are pretty much blank!

If you're a die-hard Sanrio fan, you might like this one. But if you're looking for a good retelling of "The Little Mermaid", you might want to look somewhere else. This isn't it.

Premise: 2/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 2/5
Originality: 2/5

Enjoyment: 1/5

Overall: 1.83 out of 5

Review - Fancy Nancy: The Show Must Go On

Fancy Nancy: The Show Must Go On (Fancy Nancy)
by Jane O'Connor
illustrated by Ted Enik
Date: 2009
Publisher: HarperCollins
Reading level: C
Book type: picture book
Pages: 32
Format: e-book
Source: library

Nancy and her partner for the talent show are very different. They don't have any of the same talents. How will they ever come up with an act?

(synopsis from Goodreads)

There's going to be a talent show at Nancy's school, and she and her friend Bree have it all figured out. They're going to be partners, and they've already planned out their act and costumes. But then Ms. Glass tells everyone that she'll be assigning partners, and Nancy gets paired with Lionel. They don't seem to have any talents in common. Lionel doesn't sing or dance; his talents extend to wiggling his ears and balancing a spoon on his nose. Unfortunately, Nancy doesn't share his talents. They schedule a playdate so they can get to know each other better and maybe come up with something they can do together. When Nancy sees what's in Lionel's room, she gets a great idea...

This is a typical Fancy Nancy story with our heroine solving a problem. I've encountered Lionel in other books, but I wonder if this was his first appearance; there seems to be a bit more of an introduction to his character here. I like how Nancy works to solve her problem, rather than just complain about it. They do end up coming up with a good act, and Nancy makes herself another friend.

As usual, the illustrations are cute. The sequence of pictures showing Nancy and Lionel playing together is especially fun. There are also neat little touches foreshadowing Nancy and Lionel's eventual act for the talent show.

This is another nice Fancy Nancy for your collection!

Quotable moment:

Premise: 3/5
Meter: n/a
Writing: 3/5
Illustrations: 4/5
Originality: 3/5

Enjoyment: 4/5

Overall: 3.5 out of 5