The Princess & the Penis
by R. J. Silver
Date: 2010
Publisher: R. J. Silver
Reading level: A
Book type: short story
Pages: 33
Format: e-book
Source: Amazon.ca
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.
(synopsis from Goodreads)
This... This was...
What was this?
I'd heard about this little story a few times, thought it sounded kind of amusing, and then went out of my way to avoid it for fear of what buying it would do to my Amazon recommendations. But, eventually, I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer. I just had to give it a try.
I've had some miserable experiences with self-published freebies before. But this book is surprisingly, delightfully well-written. No comma splices making me want to pull my hair out. No grammar slip-ups making me wince. No typos to make me wonder if spell-check actually exists. And only one questionable said-bookism that made me pause for just a moment. I've had worse experiences with hardcovers coming out of mainstream publishers with multiple editors and proofreaders!
So, without any of that stuff to trip me up, I was able to just enjoy the story. And it's pretty hilarious. It reads like a fairytale, and it's pretty much a twisted version of "The Princess and the Pea" (though you could argue that it also incorporates themes from "The Frog Prince").
The characters were great. The king's obstinate desire to keep his daughter pure backfires when the penis appears, since she's woefully ignorant and ends up doing things that give her parents conniptions. My favourite characters, however, were the aunts. While there were a few great one-liners in the story, these two ladies seemed to have most of them.
Overall, this was just entertaining. It was funny, silly, and a bit dirty, while somehow maintaining this weird innocence and the flavour of a fairytale. It wasn't overly graphic, either; I hesitate to say that it would be okay for teens, but hey... if they're reading Sarah J. Maas, they'd be able to handle this.
If Silver can get a better cover for this little story, it might attract more of the attention it rightfully deserves. It's one of the better self-published pieces I've read.
Quotable moment:
"It's been both polite and gentle. So I don't think it's a demon or anything villainous. It feels more like it's lost and lonely -- yes, almost like a lost puppy."
"Ah, the lost puppy look," Aunt Leila whispered to her sister. "That one used to get me every time."
Recommended to: older readers who don't mind a bit of raunchiness in their fairytales
Plot: 4/5
Characters: 4/5
Pace: 5/5
Writing & Editing: 4/5
Originality: 4/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Overall Rating: 4.33 out of 5 ladybugs
